Merry Christmas. Here's more lame jokes for you

These are some lame jokes taken out from Christmas crackers (bon-bons).

Q: What do snowmen wear on their heads?
A: Ice caps!

Q: Why does an elephant wear sneakers?
A: So he can sneak up on the mice.

Q: Do you know how to make a bandstand?
A: Take away their chairs.

Q: What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
A: Snowflakes

Q: Why did the apple turnover?
A: Because it saw the cheese roll.

Q: What do you call a sleeping bull?
A: A bulldozer.

Q: What insect is musical?
A: A humbug.

Q: What did the winner of the race lose?
A: His breath.

Q: Why did the scientist install a knocker on his door?
A: He wanted to win the no-bell prize.

Q: What comes up when the rain comes down?
A: An umbrella.

Q: Why is an elephant large, gray and wrinkly?
A: Because if it were small, white and smooth it would be an aspirin.

Q: What travels around the world but never leaves its corner?
A: A stamp.

Merry Christmas!

Public Service Announcement: Semen Related Costs

Oh crap!

Who says games aren't educational?

A periodic table of videogame characters? This would have been a huge assist when I was studying chemistry.

I'm On A Boat, Motherf*****

In the absence of more interesting news, here's a music video. I'm on a boat, bitch!

I'm a Street Fighter; Ken Wins!

Just another day on the Werribee train

The 8.09am express train from Werribee to the City forgot to make a stop at one of its primary stations this morning. Instead, we drove straight on through.

Take your pick on which was the funniest:
1) The look on the faces of passengers waiting at the station as we sped past.
2) The 3 minutes we stopped after while the driver contemplated reversing the train back.
3) His embarrassed apology as he realised it would be far too difficult to go back. "Yea... That was my bad," he said.

Diablo 3 is going to be so sweeeeet...

Oh snap! That new Unicorn class in Diablo 3 is going to be so killer!

Diablo 3 too colourful
Diablo 3 developers strike back
Diablo 3 screenshots: Unicorns, rainbows and the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man

Those damn bananas aren't working!

MARIO KART (REMI GAILLARD)
by nqtv

Giant Salami Warehouse

On my way to work every morning, I pass this by:

Being a brand of cold cuts, I'm guessing that those warehouses must be packed to the brim with hams and bacons and sliced turkey breast. I also like to think that maybe they store novelty meat items like a giant salami in there.

And ignore the fact that my drawing looks like two huge dongs.

Hugging my Xbox360

So my Xbox360 wrote something decent about me over at 360voice.com:

"Ken Lee FH's Xbox - Sep 27 2008
I thought maybe the power was out yesterday... imagine my surprise when Ken Lee FH hit the switches! Gamerscore stands at 4,330. That is a profit of 275 points over last time! He rallied BC:Rearmed finishing 1 achievement, Mercenaries 2 adding an amazing 12 achievements, Castle Crashers, and then he almost hugged me, but I was like back off dude."

I vehemently deny any and all allegations that I was felt compelled to have any physical relations with my 360.

My Xbox blogs

Apparently my Xbox360 has a mind of its own. Or at least, it always had one and now has finally found a voice. And it's been writing blog posts about me, most of which have been snarky remarks about how I don't play it often enough.

"Ken Lee FH's Xbox - Sep 17 2008
Ken Lee FH was nowhere to be seen yesterday... maybe he needs some new games or something... get some motivation up in this place..."

I played some Bioshock last night, so hopefully it'll have something a little more pleasant to say in a couple of days.

Getting Lost?

I take the train to work everyday, and sometimes there are interesting conversations that you can't help picking up. Maybe it's people talking about their failed relationships, or a funny story about a drunk mate of their's.

This lady, sitting two seats to my left, was chatting to friends about some country she visited (I didn't catch that part). And she casually mentioned how she could never get her bearings because over there, the sun rises in the west. And she couldn't drive on the roads, because although they were marked heading 'north' and 'south', she didn't know which 'north' and 'south' they were referring to.

Lady, you absolutely blew my mind. Wherever you were visiting, you must have been high the entire time.

Office Nerf War!

http://view.break.com/521743 - Watch more free videos

Sir Lord Baron Von Vaderham

I find the lack of Penne ala 'Arrabiata disturbing... Enjoy!

What's the best way to add mainstream appeal to any activity? By including karaoke, of course! And that's no different when it comes to video games. Team Fortress + karaoke = unrivaled awesomeness. Or in this specific case, total annoyance.

Hit the link for: Team Fortress presents Queen's Bohemian Rhapsody.

Applications are Currently Open

We are looking for fellow adventurers to form an adventure party to traverse the lands of Final Fantasy Crystal Chronicles: Rings of Fate. If you are a fun, dynamic team-player, eager to seek treasure and phat loot, this may be the dream position for you.

We want someone with creative brilliance, able to commit to both long and short adventures and possess great survival skills.

Responsibilities include:

• Killing monsters
• Healing fellow party members
• Casting spells, and creating Magicite crystals
• Tanking
  

Personal attributes we're looking for:

• Outstanding communication skills
• Attention to detail
  
• Able to work in an intimate team environment
• Able to multi-task
  
• Able to make tactical decisions in a high tension situation
• A proven track record in escaping from dungeons and caves
• Team player

Prior experience preferred but not necessary.

You shouldn't be doing anything else.

Picture taken from VG Cats

Connect One!

Santa detained by Stormtroopers

Picture taken from Gizmodo.