1) What do you call a fly with no wings? A walk.
2) Why was the Tomato blushing? Because he saw the salad dressing.
3) A mom, dad and baby tomato are walking down the street and the baby starts to lag behind so the dad goes back and smashes the baby and says "ketchup".
4) How do you catch a squirrel? Climb into a tree and act like a nut.
5) Why are there so many Johnsons in the phone book? They all have phones.
6) What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches? A nervous wreck!
7)Why don't cannibals eat comedians? Because they taste funny.
8) What's brown and sticky? A stick.
9) Two sausages are in a pan. One looks at the other and says "god it's hot in here", and the other sausage says "OH MY GOD IT'S A TALKING SAUSAGE!"
10) Did you hear about the cannibal who came home late for dinner and his wife gave him a cold shoulder?
11) Did you hear about the new Barbie doll; it's called Divorce Barbie. She comes with all of Ken's stuff.
12) What's the worst part about eating vegetables? Those damn wheelchairs.
13) How do you top a car? Tep on the brake tupid.
14) What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in the water? Bob.
15) What do you get when you cross an alligator and a railroad track? Three pieces of alligator.
16) Have you ever seen an elephant hiding behind a flower? That means he hides well.
17) What do you do if you see a spaceman? Park your car in it man.
18) How do you catch a rabbitt? Hide behind a tree and make carrot noises.
19) How does it change many dyslexics to take a lightbulb?
20) What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Robin, get in the car.
2) Why was the Tomato blushing? Because he saw the salad dressing.
3) A mom, dad and baby tomato are walking down the street and the baby starts to lag behind so the dad goes back and smashes the baby and says "ketchup".
4) How do you catch a squirrel? Climb into a tree and act like a nut.
5) Why are there so many Johnsons in the phone book? They all have phones.
6) What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches? A nervous wreck!
7)Why don't cannibals eat comedians? Because they taste funny.
8) What's brown and sticky? A stick.
9) Two sausages are in a pan. One looks at the other and says "god it's hot in here", and the other sausage says "OH MY GOD IT'S A TALKING SAUSAGE!"
10) Did you hear about the cannibal who came home late for dinner and his wife gave him a cold shoulder?
11) Did you hear about the new Barbie doll; it's called Divorce Barbie. She comes with all of Ken's stuff.
12) What's the worst part about eating vegetables? Those damn wheelchairs.
13) How do you top a car? Tep on the brake tupid.
14) What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in the water? Bob.
15) What do you get when you cross an alligator and a railroad track? Three pieces of alligator.
16) Have you ever seen an elephant hiding behind a flower? That means he hides well.
17) What do you do if you see a spaceman? Park your car in it man.
18) How do you catch a rabbitt? Hide behind a tree and make carrot noises.
19) How does it change many dyslexics to take a lightbulb?
20) What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Robin, get in the car.
1 comment:
Hahaha ... nice stuff.
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